Top Three Tunes: High School

Another post from the Daily Pages today. Remember that this was originally written in script and transcribed to text. My rule is not to edit this.

I'm at Jack and Darcey's new place in Boulder. And it is early, 5 AM. There was a wonderful meal last night with Darcey and Jack with a surprise guest of Carol. I'd woken earlier reflecting on our discussion. I decided I'd never really clearly, or rather never as clearly drawn the line between my seething anger in 1975-6 and my parents actions as I had last night. It was eloquent and everyone got it.
I've forgiven them their actions. That was part of what I did in Ireland a few years ago at Dymphna's Well. So that is all I think, in summary of a subject I've beat to death in these pages. Waking at 1 AM I thought further reflection in these pages wouldn't be useful.
However I do think part of my reflections on music is worth writing on. Three pieces of music that define something for you. High school it has to be Stairway to Heaven number one. It was and remains the slow dance everyone had to have a partner for. I listen to it today and think back to those sock-hops. I listen to the words and think about reading the Lord of the Rings for the very first time.
It rises to transport me there and continues to be among the best loved pieces of music of my generation.

I wore the record behind this cover out and it remains among the tunes I love, listen to and consider (hyperlink to tune).

Me and Bobby Maggie comes in second. It, and the next tune, represent my relationship with my first girl friend. I changed the words when I sang it in high school to reflect her name, which was also Bobbie, making a gender bender of it. For me it was a song of longing and loss.

Number three was Wake Up Maggie. This tune was the flip side of the relationship: how I felt used in that relationship.

These three songs, to me, represent what it was like to be that vulnerable 18-year-old graduating from high school, my parents elsewhere, no present, and facing graduation without a girl friend.
So, gentle reader, what tunes do you associate with being in high school? What tunes describe your life now and why?

NADA: It means nothing

My writing tools laid out in the NADA Cloister library.

I write daily pages. That's my pad in the photo above. Today I'll share one of my daily pages, for August 8, 2018. Because my script may be difficult, I'll transcribe it.

All things come to an end and so it is with NADA. I leave tomorrow making this my last full day here. I was surprised by eight bucks in velvet (or perhaps I surprised them). They appeared from the area of the clothesline below the deck I'd used last night for sky watching. They appeared on the rise between Lindbergh and More, then trotted west, disappearing over a ridge beyond the hermitage. Seven. I counted them, all bucks in velvet.
Finally, an eighth appeared. He was the largest. He was unhurried. I stood still for a moment as I know they are unable to discern you when you are still. I considered waiting there, but accepted the beauty I'd been given and went on my way.
In the space where soon I'll hang clothes their tracks, and in particular his tracks, were clear.

The prints of the largest buck in the desert sand.

Father Eric arrived at the Cloister soon after I did. We resolved to visit an ancient juniper right then. Our walk was in the direction the deer had traversed and I could see scat, in great abundance, on the ground.
Eric had watered a huge tree nestled out of sight near Lindbergh. It was green and gray and huge, perhaps six or even eight feet in diameter. From its trunk it had spread out with branches and roots in all directions. Erosion had removed much of the space under the trunk. It was here that the now holy water from St. Dymphna's, St. Bridget's and other wells had found a home in this desert, nourishing this ancient and sacred juniper.

Two trees in the space between Lindbergh and the boundary with the National Wildlife Refuge. The larger tree on the right received the water I'd brought from the Irish Holy Wells as gifts.

I reflected on our Sunday morning breakfast discussion of the "illusion of permanence". Eric agreed this spot was as good as any for a healing blessing and that too was resolved there.
Healing and creativity co-exist here, sort of working in opposition and in harmony. It is a sacred spot at any rate for me. I've been able to tap both those powers, unaware of the healing present but open to creation. This place is for sale. It will transition. For better or worse it will change. It will stay in my heart as I search for another place that creates healing and creativity.

My clothes dry against the vastness of the desert, looking south, across the Great Sand Dunes and toward the sacred White Mountain. How insignificant we are in comparison to nature.

Nine years later

There are a few changes evident in this blog. First, I've eliminated the posting and the rights of Powderhorn.

I'm going to take the idea of family, this blog was originally about family after all, and broaden it a bit. You'll find over the next month some posts from the alternative FaceBook page and other thoughts, finally collected in one place on the web.

The Gift

In a near future where sexual assignment surgery is accepted and embraced a young and foolish couple exchange Christmas gifts. 

Jim's lips parted from those of his lover. The taste of whose lips were as sweet as an apple and as smooth as silk.

Tomorrow would be Christmas and Jim had arranged the most wonderful gift.

For months he and Dell had talked about starting a family. There was no problem with that of course, in today's enlightened society the company of two men sharing each other's life and raising children was no longer considered indecent.

It was enjoyed and accepted by the community.

But Dell and he had thought it best if the children be raised by a mother. The financial hardships of the past few years had forced them to cut back. The financial downturn making the usual sexual reassignment surgery so many friends had undergone just five years ago now a luxury.

Oh, it was fine to have a surrogate or even to adopt a child, to share your life with a child who needed and accepted your unlimited love. But still, as old-fashioned as it seemed, to have a mother and a father loving a child was considered by many the height of current fashion and good parenting.

Dell and Jim had talked long into the nights, after their passion had been satisfied, about how they would parent children and had even proposed names for children.

What schools would they attend, what sports would they play, who would pick them up, drive them about and play catch with them?

Dell's body glistened in the moonlight of the bed on those nights, an ebony to contrast with Jim's ivory skin. Jim fantasized about and wondered about Dell penetrating him and their genetics bonding together, forming a new life.

But it had gone up in smoke as the real estate market had crashed, followed by collapse of the financial market.

He and Dell had hung on, grimly going to work and surviving the layoffs, the redundancies and 'right-sizings' as their earnings shrunk.

And tomorrow, it would be Christmas.

Jim had talked to the accountant about the foolishness of cashing in his retirement for a life gift to Dell. There would be chaos financially, but he knew there would be happiness too as little feet crossed the floor and diapers were changed and children grew, visible demonstrations of the love and commitment of Jim and Dell.

So it had been arranged that later this morning Jim would cash-in his retirement account and undergo the surgery to become a wife for Dell to impregnate.

Jim had already been to the Macy's and had picked out the perfect outfit, of course Jim would need an entire wardrobe due to the sex change. Hence there would not just be the medical surgery but also the practical results of the reassignment and months of credit card payments too.

Jim thought about high heels, it had been years since Jim had been a women, he hoped he could still master the art of balance that dancing required.

Dell was a wonderful dancer. Jim looked forward to following Dell's lead.

Parting from Dell at the subway, Jim found his way to the Uptown offices of Dr. Young.

“You won't be able to reverse again for 24 months Jim,” Dr. Young's assistant Sofie noted. “We've made advances in sexual reassignment, but there is still a need for the body to heal itself.”

Jim smiled and winked. “I'm planning on staying a woman for a long time Sofie.”

Jim nodded as Sophie talked about how the procedure reduced the chances for future successful sexual selection, fertilization and increased risks of illness. It was all okay. On Dell's shoulders She would face the world.

With a tired practised patience the procedure started. As Jim fell asleep He wondered for the last time what the look would be on Dell's face when She kissed him welcome that night.

On 6/14, Saturday, NASA postponed the launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavor. A leak had developed. It was similar to a leak in another shuttle two months earlier. Over the weekend: the space agency rescheduled the launch for Wednesday at 5:40 AM. On Monday afternoon my daughter, C’, her friend RR and I decided to try to see the launch. It was about 1,200 miles, and had to be completed in a hard drive through the early Southern summer.
We left RR’s house at about 5:15 AM on Tuesday (that would be Central Time) the flight was about 23 hours away. Here is a record of some of our observations as recorded to friends through text messaging and FaceBook (FB) postings. It’s a bit of cyber stalking and sharing at the same time. I know it’ll be difficult to follow some of the conversations. RT is Reply to. FB is FaceBook. Mess is a message.
C’ 6/15 2:17 PM: FB Thinking of going somewhere...maybe... Soon I guess. Would not mind company.
RR 6/15 2:22 PM: FB RT C’ I hate being poor as fuck but I would like to join you if possible?
Nate 6/15 3:03 PM: FB RT C’ I am busy soon, but I may be up for something later. Hope you find something cheep to unboardafy you. :)
C’ 6/15 3:12 PM: FB RT C’ Wait RR didn't I just ask you if you wanted to come and you said no, you wanted to be lazy? If we do something latter Nate'll update Facebook.
Nate 6/15 3:13 PM: FB RT C’ K
RR 6/15 3:14 PM: FB RT C’ Noooo okay you said you wanted to do something "right now", but when I read "soon" I thought you meant much later in the day. Plus I have a slight cold and took medicine, which made me super tired even though it's non-drowsy. So like, the idea of getting out of bed right now is like AUGH
Ben 6/15 3:27 PM: FB RT C’ So yes, I'd be up for something as well. As I said, I'm probably going to end up at that crazy comic store again, and if we want to make it into a thing, I'd be alright with that. Of course, I'm not sure anyone else would buy anything...
C’ 6/15 3:35 PM: FB RT C’ I wouldn't... But I do like spending time with you people so I'd be cool with it. Also RR "soon" doesn't mean "much latter in the day." but I guess it’s all kind of beside the point as it looks like we are doing something latter anyway.
PB 6/15 4:14 PM FB RT C’ Is this about the road trip I suggested? Are you being coy about where I suggested we go on purpose? Should I take the extra luggage thing off the top of the van or not?
Nate 6/15 4:24 PM FB RT C’ Oh, now I get the rental car thing.
Pb 6/15 4:24 PM: Tx RT C’ Hey! Did you see my idea for going to Florida? 
C’ 6/15 4:25 PM: RT Pb Yes I did. When did you want to go?
Pb 6/15 4:26 PM: RT C’ Within two days. It’s sort of up to NASA.
C’ 6/15 4:26 PM: RT Pb Yeah! Alright. I’ll go.
Pb 6/15 4:27 PM: RT C’ More drivers would be good. How many friends are really interested?
C’ 6/15 4:30 PM: RT Pb Well I know that two of my friends are already committed t work so they couldn’t come and Father’s Day is coming up… I don’t know.
C’ 6/15 4:39 PM: FB RT Pb No Dad, this is about me going somewhere (else) today. But I guess it works for Florida too. Hey anyone want to go to Florida? Oh, and Nat this trip has nothing what so ever to do with the car rental thing.
RR 6/15 4:40 PM FB RT C’ Why does your dad want you to go to Florida?
C’ 6/15 4:40 PM RT Pb Oh and I guess we should see how much luggage there is first.
C’ 6/15 4:47 PM: FB RT RR Oh it isn't just my dad that wants me to go to Florida. And as for why. Well there is a shuttle launch to watch and oh yeah IT'S FLORIDA! Who doesn't want to go to Florida?
C’ 6/15 6:35 PM: FB Getting ready to go to Florida. Some fun in the sun.
RR 6/15 6:38 PM: FB RT C’ Wait so you are legit going to Florida?
C’ 6/15 7:04 PM: FB RT RR Yes. Want to come? Except your meals I think everything else is paid for.
RR 6/15 7:04 PM FB RT C’ What? Really? When are you going and for how long?
C’ 6/15 7:55 PM: FB RT RR Well... Unfortunately this is very last minuet so... Tomorrow I guess is when we go and we will not be more than a week. If you have something planned we can be back in time for it.
Pb 6/16 5:18 AM: Mess to C’ Hey!
C’ 6/16 5:31 AM: RT Pb Hey. I forgot to ask, are you taking a crappy computer to play DVDs and stuff or not?
Pb 6/16 9:35 AM: Mess to JDR We’re at Crawfordsville, IN. It’s about 212 miles miles south (of Chicago) and north of Indianapolis. C’ is driving and RR is asleep in the back. I just realized we forgot the binoculars. :-p
Pb 6/16 10:46 AM: Mess to Matt C’, a friend of hers and I are in a dash through this weather too Florida to see the space shuttle launch pre-dawn on Wednesday. :-p
Matt 6/16 10:08 AM: RT Pb Cool, man!
JR 6/16 11:24 AM: RT Pb Does she snore?
Pb 6/16 11:25 AM: RT JDR No. And when she wakes up I’m telling her you asked >
JR 6/16 11:25 AM: RT Pb LOL
JR 6/16 11:23 AM: RT Pb Where are you? :_/?
Pb 6/16 11:23 AM: RT JDR Near Louisville, KY. Looks like there is a tie-up entering KY. Must be some cousins fighting. :-O
Pb 6/16 11:41 AM: Mess JDR Most unfortunate name for a hamburger: Whizz’s Whizzburger!:-&
Pb 6/16 11:59 AM: Mess JDR I like this road: Churchill Downs, Kentucky Bourbon Trail:-D
JR 6/16 12:02 PM: RT Pb Very cool! I just made points with the principal
Pb 6/16 1:17 PM: Mess JDR Sign on highway asks: “If you died right now, where would you spend eternity?” I’m thinking it would be Kentucky>
Pb 6/16 1:31 PM: Mess JDR Mammoth Caves. Ninety miles to Nashville.
JR 6/16 1:46 PM: RT Pb You are such a heathen.
Pb 6/16 2:15 PM: Mess JDR Tennessee
Pb 6/16 2:25 PM: Mess JDR They are singing Disney Tunes
Pb 6/16 2:25 PM: RT Pb Where are you? :_/?
Pb 6/16 2:27 PM: RT JDR Tennessee
JR 6/16 2:31 PM: RT Pb I’m at the grocery buying 10 frozen entries and you’re on vacation… I think I got the fuzzy end of the popsicle. LOL
Pb 6/16 2:32 PM: RT JDR :-D
JR 6/16 5:24 PM: RT Pb The rain has stopped here, is it sunny there? Where are you? :_/?
Pb 6/16 6:08 PM: RT JDR 88 degrees. The air conditioning is struggling. RR says you’d know what a garbage tree is? It’s something you eat? :_/?
JR 6/16 6:08 PM: RT Pb No clue :-D
Pb 6/16 6:28 PM: Mess JDR Atlanta, C’ seems to want to drive :->
JR 6/16 6:29 PM: RT Pb Vroomvroom!
Pb 6/16 6:30 PM: RT JDR Yeah? Bare knuckles for me :-O
JR 6/16 6:31 PM: RT Pb You asked for it baby
JR 6/16 6:32 PM: Mess Pb It’s pouring, but no thunder boomers yet
Pb 6/16 6:34 PM: RT JDR The only place it rained on us was in Central Indiana. Real muggy right now.
Pb 6/16 6:54 PM: RT JDR We lost about 45 minutes to traffic in Atlanta. 
JR 6/16 6:56 PM: RT Pb If that is all you have lost you are pretty far ahead. It is really coming down right now…
Pb 6/16 7:17 PM: RT JDR Despite Atlanta we’re averaging 62.2 miles per hour with stops. 
JR 6/16 7:17 PM: RT Pb Little girls have big bladders. Better yet with their high IQs you don’t have to stop for air to pump up their little heads > :-D
Pb 6/16 7:18 PM: RT JDR Yep! We couldn’t keep this pace with you. Too many stops (
JR 6/16 7:19 PM: RT Pb Bastard :-X
RR 6/15 10:43 PM: FB going to Florida with C’ for a week-ish. Very spur of the moment
Erica 6/15 10:51 PM: FB RT RR Spur of the moment trips are the best :)
Pb 6/16 8:06 PM: Mess JDR Okay. We stopped at a Stuckey’s and bought some junk for you :O)
JR 6/16 8:07 PM: RT Pb Noproblemo. Citizen Kane on TV. Popcorn for dinner! Awww, kitsch. You love me! :-X :-X
Pb 6/16 8:41 PM: RT JDR Enjoy. It is sunset here.
JR 6/16 8:44 PM: RT Pb Soggy here
Pb 6/16 9:04 PM: Mess JDR We keep passing this hitchhiker. I think I should pick him up. What do you think? :-O
JR 6/16 9:06 PM: RT Pb I don’t think so, not with my daughter and RR in the car. LOL
JR 6/16 10:08 PM: RT Pb Stay safe travelers, I’m off to bed. Love to you all. :-X
Pb 6/16 10:08 PM: RT JDR Love you :-X
Pb 6/17 12:52 AM: Mess JDR Well we’re in Florida. C’ is driving. The road is detouring and we’re a bit lost. Oh well… It’s a peninsula. Right? :-?
Pb 6/17 1:15 AM: Mess JDR Good job C’. She and RR navigated the detour through Jacksonville without me. There was an accident (in the car). C’ took a turn too fast and the ice chest flipped, spilling water on the Mac and the floor. Water spilt onto the Mac and the floor. The Mac seems to be okay. My feet are wet (that’s what woke me up). I’m not sure what else is down there (there are power cords to the two small fans on the floor). There is a storm to the West and the Atlantic Ocean is a few miles east of us. It is about 1.20 AM and we’re about 90 minutes from the Cape. :-p
NASA 6/17 2:11 AM: News release STS mission postponed till July 11.
Pb 6/17 2:22 AM: Mess JDR We’re passing Daytona. That’s about 20 miles from Tittusville, where we plan to watch the launch. We just want to be there. C’ and RR break the tension by singing YMCA along with the MP3. 
RR 6/17 3:30 PM: FB Updating from C' swank phone. Florida is neat.
Pb 6/17 3:36 AM: 3:30 AM. Mess JDR We’re here. We can see the shuttle across the water. It is such a small town that nothing is open. We sleep (in the car) and wait. 1,291 miles since 4:15 AM yesterday. That’s an average speed of 58 miles per hour :->
Pb 6/17 3:51 AM: Mess JDR This isn’t good. People are leaving the parking lot and discussing July 11. 
Pb 6/17 3:56 AM: Mess JDR NASA updated the web site at 2:11 AM. The launch has been postponed. 
Robin 6/17 4:13 PM: FB RT RR Y r u in Florida?
JDR 6/17 8:29 AM: RT Pb Is there an Atlas launch this week?
Pb 6/17 9:16 AM: RT JDR Yes. There is an Atlas launch tomorrow about 5:30 PM. We’re in Bonita Springs. The house and pool appear to be in good condition. We were so tired leaving the Kennedy Space Center, but we wanted to get too bed! That’s why we didn’t answer your earlier message. I think I’m hungry but I need to relax first :-<
JR 6/17 9:31 AM: RT Pb I figured you were snoozing.
Pb 6/17 9:33 AM: RT JDR Shower, laundry and a small meal. Hopefully a nap. I’m really buzzed because I had to have some coffee to finish the drive.
Matt 6/17 11:46 AM: Mess Pb Launch was scuttled! Where are you?
Pb 6/17 5:51 PM: RT Matt Oh god were we tired! I should copy all the post from the trip to Facebook. We ended up at the beach in Tittusville at 3:30 AM. Twenty minutes later people began leaving the park. I knew that wasn’t good. The launch was scrubbed about 2:10 AM. We were really tired and I was the only one with enough left to drive. We wanted to beat the rush hour in Orlando and Tampa, go to my house in Bonita Springs. We had to keep stopping (on the drive from Tittusville to Bonita Springs) so I could wake up again. We got here (Bonita Springs) about 9 AM. There’s another launch about 5:30 PM of an Atlas. The girls want to go to Orlando (Disney Land). 
C’ 6/17 5:50 PM: FB In florida. Just captured a lizzard.
Vlad 6/17 5:55 PM: FB RT C’ Eat it!
C’ 6/17 6:02 PM: FB RT Vlad Nooo! We want to name it.
Kay 6/17 7:04 PM: FB RT C’ Call it George.
Vlad 6/17 7:40 PM: FB RT C’ Yoshi. Name it Yoshi.
JDR 6/17 7:48 PM: Mess Pb I went to the tea store, got everything but my orange blossom tea.
C’ 6/17 9:44 PM: FB RT Vlad We named him Gar.
Pb 6/17 8:09 PM: Mess JDR This is a most unfortunate business name: Master Bait & Tackle. :o)
JDR 6/17 8:09 PM: RT Pb LOL
Pb 6/17 8:12 PM: Mess JDR We’re at Doc’s Beach House on the Gulf beach, watching the sun set. :-“>
JDR 6/17 8:13 PM: RT Pb I’m photo editing
Pb 6/17 8:44 PM: RT JDR C’ is having the seafood basket (a mix), RR is having grilled chicken (originally I’d texted that it was the grilled cheese). I’m doing the swordfish. Also some crab cakes so RR can try them. :-D
JDR 6/17 9:24 PM: RT Pb RR needs to kick off her wing tips. Or is she keeping kosher?
JDR 6/17 9:43 PM: Mess Pb Heading to the sack!
Pb 6/17 9:44 PM: RT JDR RR and C’ are playing with their DS. Meanwhile one of the locals is showing off her girlfriends. :-O Hey! Love you. Good night. :-X
Pb 6/17 9:57 PM: RT JDR I don’t think they’re natural either. :-O )
Pb 6/17 10:42 PM: RT JDR I asked the waitress on the way out. She said that she didn’t think they were real either and noted that I missed the fact that she wasn’t wearing any undies (so you had a full crack view from the rear too) :-O So a full show, front and back :-O
Pb 6/17 10:45 PM: Mess JDR There’s a big storm over the Gulf. The lightning is amazing. :-/)
Pb 6/17 10:52 PM: Mess JDR I think a swim in the pool before bed?
JDR 6/17 10:55 PM: RT Pb Go for it, love you. Good night. :-X
Kay 6/18 6:05 AM: FB RT C’ Gar looks like a nice lizard!
Pb 6/18 9:30 AM: Mess JDR Did C’ post the pictures of RR and her with the lizard? They were like two kids with their first firefly. 
Pb 6/18 9:33 AM: Mess JDR Lots of storms this morning in the Midwest. Isolated storms here expected late this afternoon. The morning is cloud free. I want to take two or three days to travel north and I want to be home by Wednesday. C’ and RR stayed up late. They didn’t say anything to me about today’s plans.
Pb 6/18 9:36 AM: Mess JDR We took the Boat out for a spin last night. Oh god! That thing is a beast.
C’ 6/18 9:41 AM: FB RT Kay Best lizard ever!
Pb 6/18 10:42 AM: Mess JDR The clamshell (on top of the car) is melting! :-<
JR 6/18 10:43 AM: RT Pb ?
Pb 6/18 11:54 AM: RT JDR The heat is causing the clamshell on top of the car to melt. It is losing it’s ability to stay open because it’s melting. :-O
Pb 6/18 12:33 PM: RT C’ They said it will be an hour (to charge the air conditioning) 
C’ 6/18 12:34 PM: RT Pb Ok. So… Should we wait for you?
Pb 6/18 12:42 PM: RT C’ Umm… Are you going to the beach? Go ahead and go. Take the boat, but remember you’re not insured.  Parking costs about $1 per hour.
C’ 6/18 12:43 PM: RT Pb Is it not illegal to drive uninsured?
Pb 6/18 12:44 PM: RT C’ Yes. Live a little dangerously.
Pb 6/18 12:47 PM: Mess JDR I’m having the A/C recharged (on the car). C’ and RR are headed to the beach. C’ is worried because she isn’t insured (to drive the boat). Also this morning she was offered a job by the NSLS for $10 per hour.
Nate 6/18 1:05 PM FB RT C’ Are you going to keep it? you will have to be careful about the cats.
C’ 6/18 1:20 PM: Mess Pb We are still at the house. You might as well come back for us.
Pb 6/18 1:56 PM: Mess Ron C', 1 of her friends & I tried 2 make t Space Shuttle launch. 1300 miles in ~ 22 hours of driving. We got here w/2 hrs 2 spare. But NASA cancelled t launch. Now 3 of t world's whitest people on earth R @ t beach in FLA>:-)
Pb 6/18 2:27 PM: Mess JDR The hunt for clip-on shades has grown serious. Why don’t truck stops stock my size? :-<
Pb 6/18 2:28 PM: Mess JDR RR’s mom called. Left a message about the Space Shuttle (not launching). I know. I know… 
C’ 6/18 2:44 PM: Mess to Pb We got the tickets but RR is still online. I think we want lunch. Any ideas?
Pb 6/18 2:46 PM: RT JDR RR is searching for the perfect Waffle House restaurant. C’ is counting adult-themed billboards. And today three of the whitest people on Earth are at the beach. :-/)
Pb 6/18 2:46 PM: RT C’ I’ve eaten part of the pizza here. The ice cream place at 8th and Vanderbilt is good. Yelp likes a Table Apart on Bonita Beach. Or just try somewhere. Ask the librarian.
JDR 6/18 3:04 PM: RT Pb Holly says if she was there she would be eating seafood and drinking. Bring her back some “funky honey from your funky honey.”
Pb 6/18 3:07 PM: RT JDR Did you tell Holly about the girl last night? Every time I come here I see lot’s and lots of girl skin :-D
Pb 6/18 3:08 PM: RT JDR I’m afraid to ask, what is funky honey?
C’ 6/18 3:10 PM: RT Pb Now we’re back… So I guess we can talk about it in person.
JDR 6/18 3:35 PM: RT Pb Something unusual, not ordinary honey.
JDR 6/18 3:37 PM: RT Pb Holly wonders if you look like a Canadian flag, all white and red
Pb 6/18 3:38 PM: RT JDR Well I could let my imagination run wild on that choice of words. :-&
C’ 6/18 3:53 PM: FB RT Nate No we let Gar go.
Pb 6/18 4:00 PM: Mess JDR Do you remember our visit to the beach in Goderich the first time? It was night. You were out beyond me. But my boys didn’t like the temperature, so I stayed at upper thigh depth.
JDR 6/18 4:00 PM: RT Pb Yes.
Pb 6/18 4:04 PM: RT JDR You asked what I was doing? I said I was Groking the event. I’m doing it again. It is so cool to share this with you. The sound of the ocean is so loud.  :-X
Pb 6/18 4:07 PM: RT JDR The two girls are about 100 yards down shore. There’s a good wind coming off the Gulf. There’s a light sprinkle here, no lightning. But storms are inland. I’m just really enjoying the moment. 
Nate 6/18 4:10 PM FB RT C’ Okay
Pb 6/18 4:55 PM: Mess JDR Atlas launch in 20 minutes. We’ll (watch) the launch from the beach.
C’ 6/18 4:55 PM: FB Turtle power dude.
Pb 6/18 5:13 PM: Mess JDR So, sitting on the beach in Bonita Springs waiting for a streak against the sky. Lonely and yet connected.
JDR 6/18 5:14 PM: RT Pb I just grabbed a sandwich. They have the worst food here. I wish I could see it.
Pb 6/18 5:22 PM: RT JDR Me too.  Two more launch opportunities in the next 20 minutes. Let’s see what happens.
Pb 6/18 5:27 PM: Mess JDR Thunder. Time to leave the beach.
Pb 6/18 5:33 PM: Mess JDR Well, it may have scrubbed or it may have fired NorthEast. There’s a big thunderhead that way. It could be blocking my line of sight. 
Pb 6/18 6:39 PM: Mess JDR C’ and RR say I was badly burned at the beach: neck and arms; particularly the neck. Any ideas on saving my neck? :-?
JDR: 6/18 6:47 PM: RT Pb Holly says (next) time remember the sunscreen retardo.
Pb 6/18 6:51 PM: RT JDR Thank you Holly. My daughter agrees it was retarded.
JDR 6/18 7:15 PM: RT Pb You are going to be a mess in the morning Booboo.
JDR 6/18 7:22 PM: Mess to Pb Holly is feeling better, she just told me to fuck myself.
Pb 6/18 7:23 PM: RT JDR LOL
JDR 6/18 8:58 PM: FB Somebody went down to Florida and got his red-headed self all sunburned! Wonder who that could be?
Pb 6/19 8:27 AM: RT JDR There’s no pain or discomfort this morning. My face and arms are really red. I think we’re going to the beach again today.
JDR 6/19 8:29 AM: RT Pb Wear a hat and sleeves with sun screens Red.
Pb 6/19 8:31 PM: RT JDR I never took the hat off yesterday. Legs are still white 
Pb 6/19 9:00 AM: RT JDR C’ has a headache from the sun yesterday. Any ideas?
Pb 6/19 11:06 AM: Mess JDR It appears we are spending the day at the bungalow. Disney and Universal cost about $75 each day. :-o( The girls wanted to go jetskiing but realize it’s either/or, not both. I proposed to them that we leave here early to get to the park when it opens. Afternoon storms will start at about the time we want to leave. Then we drive to St. Augustine. We can stay in a hostel there. Drive from there North 
Pb 6/19 11:46 AM: Mess JDR We should start a new game: Where in the USA is Helen?
JDR 6/19 11:49 AM: RT Pb New York?
Pb 6/19 11:56 AM: RT JDR Who knows? ;) The two girls both dressed in sun dresses. I’ll have to take a picture. They are out shopping. I’m home alone :-o) The front of my legs are now showing signs of a burn. It’s weird.
RR 6/19 1:01 PM: FB RT Robin I'm in Florida because C’ asked me to come along. Having no job or responsibilities allows me to disappear for weeks at a time with not a care in the world.
RR 6/19 1:03 PM: FB RT C’ SEA TURTLES! er tortoises.
C’ 6/19 1:12 PM: FB RT RR Watch him crawl away... angry.
C’ 6/19 11:27 AM: FB Bla, why is Disney world so costly?!
Pb 6/19 11:29 AM: FB RT C’ Because there are people like you who will pay for it. Is there a student discount? Just buy the tickets and enjoy it. You'll never be able to enjoy it with RR again. But the memories of this trip will stay with you forever.
C’ 6/19 11:33 AM: FB RT Pb yeah yeah I guess.
Nate 6/19 12:00 PM: FB RT C’ he is right you know
C’ 6/19 12:07 PM: FB RT Nate I know. And I would pay it but the problem is this, the tickets = $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ And I don't think RR is happy about that. I realize that $75 is a very cheep trip to Disney world but yeah...
RR 6/19 1:02 PM: FB is going to Disnery World! (tomorrow.)
Pb 6/19 4:16 PM: Mess C’ I’m going to nap for an hour or so.
Robin 6/19 5:34 PM: FB RT RR YOU BETCH!
Manda 6/19 5:43 PM: FB RT RR AWSUM
Jeff 6/19 5:46 AM FB to RR hey you. i hope you have fun tomorrow/today.
C’ 6/19 9:32 AM: FB Guess whos going to disney world.
Pb 6/20 6:25 AM: Mess Ron I can text while driving 80:-O Arghhhhhhhhh!
Jeff 6/20 6:46 AM: FB to RR Hey you. I hope you have fun tomorrow/today.
Pb 6/20 10:40 AM: Mess C’ Daisy Lot 31
Pb 6/20 10:48 AM: Mess JDR The alarm was set wrong. So we’re an hour late. There’s a heat warning and OH! NO! Wally World is CLOSED! :-O(
JDR 6/20 10:50 AM: RT Pb How about Ringling Brothers Museum that’s inside. It’s art, not circus.
Pb 6/20 10:57 AM: RT JDR Wha? :-?( The second line of the day and we’re not even in the part yet. 
JDR 6/20 10:58 AM: RT Pb So it is open. Stay cool. Wear your hat.
Pb 6/20 11:09 AM: RT JDR I feel like I’m part of some religious experience. You can feel the excitement of the children. A few children are in wheel chairs.
JDR 6/20 11:12 AM: RT Pb Autistic kids are usually fixated on Disney characters and Thomas the Tank Engine… Just put your hands on the mouse ears…
C’ 6/20 11:23 PM: Mess Pb Hey I think we lost you.
Pb 6/20 11:24 AM: RT C’ Yep! That was quick. I’m still near the parade.
C’ 6/20 11:25 AM: RT Pb So are we. I still see you. I’m across the small lake.
Pb 6/20 11:31 AM: Mess JDR God is it hot! C’ is wearing jeans. RR and I are telling her to dump the jeans ASAP. But she is intensely happy. 
JDR 6/20 11:35 am: RT Pb Don't care, two choices, buy sizzers and cut them or procure shorts,skirt or scrubs for her. She will not be able to get the water in fast enough in jeans.
JDR 6/20 11:37 am: RT Pb At the price of Disney world water short probably would be cheaper than keeping booboo hydrated. :-D
JDR 6/20 11:38 am: RT Pb Hydrated in jeans that is...
Pb 6/20 12:01 PM: RT JDR We're trying 2 persuade her 2 get a Grateful Dead skirt. She's afraid it will fall off:-O
JDR 6/20 12:03 PM: RT Pb Do they have a smaller size? The waist a draw string?
Pb 6/20 12:04 PM: RT JDR She's just enjoying t attention
JDR 6/20 12:05 PM: RT Pb She’s beautiful she better get used to it
Pb 6/20 12:22 PM: Mess JDR We're in line, waiting 4 Goofy. :o)
Pb 6/20 12:53 PM: Mess JDR The little prude. 1 of t clerks told her 2 buy a pair of shorts if she's worried ~ it.:-))
Pb 6/20 12:53 PM: Mess JDR They've lost me 4 t 2nd time 2day.
JDR 6/20 12:55 PM: RT Pb Better have a meeting place and time them!
Pb 6/20 1:02 PM: Mess JDR C' found a wrap. I think they R changing now. I need some sox:-(
Pb 6/20 1:30 PM: Mess C’ Where are you?
C’ 6/20 1:32 PM: RT Pb In front of the castle. Well, the statue of Mickey and Disney.
Pb 6/20 1:37 PM: RT C’ Okay
Pb 6/20 1:54 PM: Mess JDR RR just ran off 2 C Buzz Lightyear. Should I run after her or keep my eye on C'?:-((
Pb 6/20 2:47 PM: Mess JDR Children R melting B4 my eyes.;-)
JDR 6/20 2:50 PM: RT Pb The colors are beautiful but what are they?
Pb 6/20 3:05 PM: RT JDR Coffee mugs. Big coffee mugs. If I C them again I'll take a closeup.
Pb 6/20 3:06 PM: Mess JDR Remember finding t princess Haloween costume in t attic? C' is in heaven. Every shop has those costumes. & we're @ t Disney Princess meet site now:-D
JDR 6/20 3:07 PM: Lol
Pb 6/20 3:08 PM: Oh! Oh! I just discovered t complete Disney Princess collectables set:-O
JDR 6/20 3:09 PM: No! We do not have room!
Pb 6/20 3:10 PM: Mess C’ Where are you?
C’ 6/20 3:16 PM: RT Pb I’m in line to see the princesses. Be (back) there soon. Stay there.
Pb 6/20 3:16 PM: RT C’ I want to take pictures.
C’ 6/20 3:18 PM: I’m sorry but we are at the front of the line. Don’t worry there will be at least three photos.
Pb 6/20 4:13 PM: Mess JDR We have finished all our provisions. Weaker members of t troop R falling aside as t dreadful march continues. T heat is intense & children R Bing dragged thru
JDR 6/20 4:15 PM: RT Pb Look for the frozen mouse ears....
Pb 6/20 4:16 PM: Mess JDR this hell on earth, their Ariel & Jasmine costumes falling fm their shoulders. It is inhuman. What alien intelligence runs us thru this mouse maze & 4 what diabolical purpose?
JDR 6/20 4:17 PM: RT Pb Money!
JDR 6/20 4:17 PM: RT Pb Money!
Pb 6/20 4:20 PM: Mess JDR T only thing that would make this even more unreal is if C' & RR had both dressed as Disney Princess':-O
JDR 6/20 4:21 PM: RT Pb It's da heat...
Pb 6/20 4:24 PM: RT JDR No. The woman 2 t rite w/her girl friends sweating & t woman 2 my left who appears 2 B wearing just a um... Not sure what it is but it's revealing. That's t ht
JDR 6/20 4:25 PM: RT Pb The happiest place on earth?
Pb 6/20 4:36 PM: RT JDR Yep:-D
Pb 6/20 4:45 PM: Mess JDR After a few happy seconds trying 2 determine what sort of sea shell Ariel wears 4 a top, we continue thru t list of Disney Princess' to Snow White. Wait is she Royalty?:-/
Pb 6/20 5:03 PM: Mess Ron Okay. We'R in It's a Small World. This better not B another lame Disney ride:-p
Pb 6/20 5:04 PM: Mess Ron I'm already getting an ear worm fm that fuckin' song>:-)
Pb 6/20 5:08 PM: Mess Ron I'll bet there is a correlation between people being exposed 2 this music & t incidence of serial murder:-((
Pb 6/20 5:12 PM: Mess Ron OMG it's a GAY ride!
Pb 6/20 5:14 PM: Mess Ron It's over... NO THERE'S MORE:-O
Pb 6/20 5:16 PM: Mess Ron I'm delusional. T horror... T horror...
Pb 6/20 5:21 PM: Mess Ron my best friend has sent on a drug requiring trip thru t ugly sewer known as It's a Small World @ Disney World. My brain struggles w/t implications of t betrayal
Pb 6/20 5:57 PM: Mess JDR These 2 R having an argument ~ Pinnochio. RR wants an adult version. C' is defending t Disney version.
Ron 6/20 8:06 PM: RT Pb Its a world of laughter, a world of tears. Its a world of homoerotic fears. You can run, you can hide, but we're always inside. Its a small, small world.
C’ 6/20 10:13 PM: FB Most magical day in the sun ever.
JDR 6/20 11:20 PM: Mess Pb Love you
Pb 6/21 12:08 AM: RT JDR Sorry that happened 2 U.:-( I get t feeling I'm partly 2 blame as I'm here, not there. T hostel is a bit rougher than I like. Upper bunk of a dorm rm w/7 other guys. It's hot & stinky already. 2 days & we should B bak. Luv ya':-x
JDR 6/21 12:10 AM: RT Pb Sleep as well as you can, love ya
Pb 6/21 12:19 AM: RT Ron Nooooooo! U bastard!
Pb 6/21 9:07 AM: Mess to C’ I’m up. Let me shower and get human again. Do you need the car key?
C’ 6/21 9:20 AM: RT Pb No I don’t think so. Did you need shampoo?
JDR 6/21 9:39 AM: Mess Pb Happy fathers day! Love you:-x
Pb 6/21 9:48 AM: RT C’ I’m Okay.
C’ 6/21 9:49 AM: RT Pb Good. I’m having pancakes.
RR 6/21 10:25 AM: FB RR is in a Pirate themed hostel. Rawk. Heading home today, but probably back tomorrow night.
C’ 6/21 10:39 AM: RT Pb RR wants to know if we are leaving soon.
Ryan C 6/21 11:38 AM: FB RT RR where is this pirate themed hostel you speak of?
Pb 6/21 12:00 PM: Mess JDR I found my eye shades
Pb 6/21 12:18 PM: Mess JDR T plan is 2 drive 2 a hostel near Asheville, NC 2day. Then home 2morrow.
JDR 6/21 12:20 PM: RT Pb Good morning! That is going to be one long day of driving. How did the night go at the hostel?
Pb 6/21 12:21 PM: Mess C’ RR just went the wrong way.
Pb 6/21 12:23 PM: RT JDR It was better in t lite of day. T other guys said there was someone who snored so loud they had 2 stay in t Common Room last nite, but I slept ok, didn't notice
Ron 6/21 12:24 PM: RT Pb Second verse, unlike the first. I'm Henry the eighth I am Henry the eighth I am I am. I got married to the widow next door, she'd been married seven times...
JDR 6/21 12:25 PM: RT Pb Wonder who it could have been? RR? C’? Not our little flowers.
Pb 6/21 12:27 PM: RT JDR No, someone in t guy dorm
JDR 6/21 12:29 PM: RT Pb Not you....
ARY 6/21 12:43 PM: FB to C’ I am so happy! It sounds like you had a great time. You and RR and your father all look a little "magically" sunburned or maybe just a little rosy from the heat. Have fun. Comeback ready to work.
C’ 6/21 4:42 PM: RT ARY Oh you are just so clever.
Pb 6/21 5:46 PM: Mess JDR SC
Pb 6/21 9:07 PM: Mess JDR Nc:-)
JDR 6/21 9:08 PM: RT Pb Smokey mts?
Pb 6/21 10:21 PM: RT JDR yep. We're @ t hostel.
JDR 6/21 10:22 PM: Mess Pb I' to bed soon, hope the hostel is nice
Pb 6/21 10:22 PM: Mess C’ I take it you two are being anti-social?
C’ 6/21 11:12 PM: RT Pb We sure are.
Pb 6/21 11:13 PM: RT C’ It’s safe now, everyone has left.
C’ 6/21 11:14 PM: RT Pb Oh Okay. Thank you.
Pb 6/22 10:53 AM: Mess JDR heading home. ~ 12 hrs:-)
C’ 6/22 2:24 PM: Mess FB Just passed a bunch of clouds forming a funnel in Tennessee, and its raining a lot.
Pb 6/22 2:18 PM: Mess JDR Ky
JDR 6/22 3:01 PM: Mess Pb Where are you? :-/
Pb 6/22 3:04 PM: RT JDR Ky
Kay 6/22 4:21 PM: FB RT C’ Yikes! Run! Hide!
Nate 6/22 6:01 PM: FB RT C’ That’s probably that storm passed through here two or three days ago. Said he was goin' ta go look for sum action down south. Guess e' found what he was looking for... storm like that... some times you just don't know do'ya???
Pb 6/22 6:30 PM: Mess JDR IN. ~ 5 hrs fm home now.:-)
JDR 6/22 6:59 PM: Mess Pb Where are you? :-/
Pb 6/22 6:58 PM: RT JDR Indianapolis. ~ 180 mi left?
JDR 6/22 8:18 PM: Mess Pb Where are you? :-/
C’ 6/22 8:25 PM: FB RT Nate Ok. So RR and I were talking about this... Are you personifying the storm?
Pb 6/22 8:45 PM: RT JDR We've stopped 4 a dinner break in Lebanon.
JDR 6/22 8:46 PM: RT Pb Have the club....
Pb 6/22 8:47 PM: RT JDR I've been here B4. I'm inside my old territory now.
JDR 6/22 8:47 PM: RT Pb That's scary
Pb 6/22 8:48 PM: RT JDR No. Finally get home soon:-)
JDR 6/22 8:48 PM: RT Pb How long?
JDR 6/22 10:10 PM: Mess Pb I'm trying to wait up but I keep falling asleep. How far or long?
Pb 6/22 10:47 PM: RT JDR Gassing up in Hammond. 4 all practical purposes, we're in Chicago.:-p
C’ 6/22 11:20 PM: I think something is wrong with the facebook on my phone.


C’ took the Which Disney Movie Is Your Life Most Like? quiz and the result is Alice in Wonderland

Often you find yourself daydreaming about what life could be like for you, and sometimes are very negative about the outcome. You have a wild imagination and people love how creative you are. At times your life can seem very complicated and making decisions is difficult for you. Just keep in mind that dreaming about life is not going to make it go anywhere, and you are only going to achieve success if you work for it.
RR 6/23 12:08 AM: FB RT Ryan It was in St. Augustine, FL.
RR 6/23 12:09 AM: FB homehomehomehomehomehomehome
Pb 6/23 12:42 AM: Mess JDR HOME: 3267 mi
Pb 6/23 10:26 AM: Mess JDR I'm going bak 2 bed. TIRED!
JDR 6/23 10:33 AM: RT Pb Poor baby!
JDR 6/26 12:24 PM: Mess Pb Where did you go?
Pb 6/26 12:25 PM: RT JDR I'm finally unloading t car
JDR 6/26 12:26 PM: RT Pb Lol!

Someplace along the line our building has slipped into a full-blown depression. There are four adults living here, Jane, Brian, Kim and I. Brian is still working 35 hours a week as a waiter at Jury's. But I have to assume that he doesn't receive any benefits from that job.

Meanwhile, Kim, his spouse, was laid off. She is in some denial about the whole thing, wondering why she hasn't already found another job. I'm off work, of course, since August and then we come to Jane.

This week I came home from a professional conference to find Jane sitting on the couch in a rather dejected state. I would have thought that the hockey game she was watching had ended badly, but instead I learned that the school system here is thinking of laying off workers who meet her qualifications. That would have left the entire building with no adults working a regular job and receiving benefits.

We need to discuss with the lender what is happening. I'll try to do that today. The last time it was this bad for people around me was in the early 80's during the “Reagan Revolution.” It was a revolution that devalued the labor of people, and didn't recognize that although the society needed to retool after the World War II economic boom, that there would be victims.

Looking around Chicago and places like Danville, Rockford, or anywhere in Michigan, those victims never really recovered. And the political winds blew in such as way that society didn't seem willing to help them move along to better opportunities.

Here we are again. My industry is gone. Kim was in help-wanted advertising. It too is largely gone. Only the two people in personal services, nursing and waiting, are surviving. I'm moving along, thinking of the road ahead and I do not see newspapers as playing a big part of the future. I don't know what Kim is thinking. We are no where near as poor as we were in the 80's or the great recession of the early 70's or the depression of the 30's. But all it takes is a nudge and we could be gone.

At this stage of life, it would mean living poorly the rest of our days.

This week I saw several openings on the net, not the advertised openings, but the openings people talk to others that they want them to meet about. This recession/ depression is turning. I hope it isn't too late for us, our tenants and everyone effected.

There was another success in the effort to reconnect as I found old neighbors, the Larsons. The shock on finding old neighbors is that the image you have of them in your head doesn't match the reality of the years. That may not be true of me, I still live in the same house I've owned for 17 years, and only recently I've begun to move away from the field that I worked in for these two decades.

The children of the Larsons are in and out of college and in once case, have married. These are the same children who created a special hole in the fence in my backyard so that they and my daughter could more easily move from yard to yard. It is an Oh! My! God! Moment. It is at least comparable to the moment at Great America when you round the short bend and see the masses of people who are in line for the 50 second roller coaster ride you've been waiting for.

But this is life and it demonstrates with great power that I'm older, that the world too is older, even if it is imperceptibly changing to me. The growing up with the Larsons story most people will know from me is that annual urban tale of taking Luke and Anna to the South Side Chicago St. Patrick's Day Parade.

I don't want to go through the entire story now. Frankly the story has been told too many times. But in essence, I was the only adult and each of the children, starting with Luke, then Ceili and finally Anna, became separated from me. When I finally found them they were about ten feet from me, but in that crowd I couldn't see that far.

It is a great urban story: fathers aren't as careful as mothers, don't let your children go, etc. And, it is all true, though it ends well. It would have been a better cautionary tale if I'd never found them again. God smiles on fools.

I was thinking that it may have been 1995 when we last saw the Larson family. Jane corrected me, telling me that they visited in the last ten years. In any case, it's been a long time.

Jim, the dad, and Judy, the mom, are in Thailand doing missionary work among the prostitutes. I never met a person like Jim before we were neighbors, and would still be at a loss to point to a person who had the passion for service to others. I think a link to Jim's blog is needed here; my description of Jim's work wouldn't be adequate.

The reason I found them was that there was an old box in the garage. This was put there last summer as we cleaned out the attic. On the theory that you don't own stuff, it owns you, I've been trying to organize my life to erase the clutter that has accumulated. My nephews Dan and Michael brought down three skids of material from the attic to the garage. We are down to about ten boxes as of today, the rest have been sorted and disposed or organized.

Two papers jumped out from the box. The first was a letter from Jim Larson. As I look around the “man cave” I can't find it. It may have served its purpose and now it is lost forever.

I knew that Jim had worked in a church in the ex-urban area of Chicago. I'd thought it was near LaSalle/ Peru, instead it was about 30 miles closer, between LaSalle and Yorkville in Sheridan. With the address in hand I had enough information to start a new search. About 72 hours later and I'm writing my old neighbors again.

It is wonderful that Jim's service to others continues. It is wonderful to hear of it, wonderful and challenging to a person who has lived in the same house for 17 years.

I'd never believed in the Jerusalem Syndrome. But now I know different. It all started on a tour I took of Hollywood last week called the Dearly Departed Hollywood Tragic Mystery Tour. As we drove through Beverly Hills, our driver discussing the hows and whys of the spectacular Los Angeles deaths in ordinary looking homes I think I suffered a case similar to Jerusalem Syndrome.

You've probably heard of this ailment. It's a mental illness caused by being to close to the holy or something. The always dependable Wikipedia as a great entry on it, but doesn't discuss how it afflicts weak minds, such as mine, when in the orbit of the famous: “The Jerusalem syndrome is a group of mental phenomena involving the presence of either religiously themed obsessive ideas, delusions or other psychosis-like experiences that are triggered by, or lead to, a visit to the city of Jerusalem.”

It hit me outside someone's home. I don't even remember the name of the person. They are still popular and on some hit television show. Their car, a black Lexus, sat in the driveway. As I remember, the home had been the scene of a gruesome crime fifty or more years ago. And of course, we heard about the Black Dahlia.

I sat there looking at the car. Now it wasn't owned by Kevin Bacon, Bacon didn't even appear on the tour, but because I want to get a step closer to Kevin Bacon in degree of separation, let's just say it was Kevin Bacon.

And I sat there on the bus and looked at Bacon's car and his home and I thought just like those crazed fans who have murdered their heroes and idols. I thought about killing Kevin Bacon.

Back in my home in the Midwest, this all appears to be some flight of lunacy, as indeed it was. I was approaching the face of lunacy and looking deep into its eyes. It is lunacy to kill another human being for the pleasure of being known as a killer in the Hollywood media. But, when you're an unemployed blogger who normally writes about minor league hockey, perhaps this is the best you'll get: your shot at the big time.

Now a spectacular crime has to have some strange twists and of course I wouldn't want to be caught. So, being a Hollywood tourist is surely a good cover, provided I can escape that is.

But I figured that one of the best ways to become famous would be to kill the celebrity, that would be Bacon, with one of those plastic knives that TSA makes you take out of your carry on and then the bagel place 30 yards further into the airport gives back to you. The reason for the knives is that it is apparently some sort of sport to kill celebrities in California. I hadn't even realized this before the tour, but you know, it's California. And besides, there are loads of celebrities in California. They even work in the local supermarket bagging your groceries, I think.

“That will show you TSA” I could scream as I slowly sawed the body of Bacon surgically in two with the plastic knives they take away at the security line. Oh, wait, I'd have to drain the body of blood first.

Now you can see that already I may have fouled up my entire crime. First, I'm writing about it on a blog? I mean what the fuck is that all about. Right there Kevin Bacon is safe from me... I'll have to pick another star out. But the crime could be called the TSA murder.

“Police say the murderer wrote “TSA sucks” in the victim's blood on a nearby wall.” Scratch that. That sounds gross, though I like the idea of linking it to the TSA somehow. I've got to figure that angle out.

Second, thinking back about the Black Dahlia, her blood was drained from her body, her body was sexually molested... Oh God! I don't want to DO Kevin Bacon... Dead or alive. Kevin? You are fully released. Now I think as an actor you're okay and everything, but I have no, you know, interest in doing you.

I don't know much about Hollywood celebrities and don't even know who would be a good target now. I mean Paris Hilton? She is a transvestite right? I mean her face is almost plastic. Not interested.

I've never seen Hannah Montana and couldn't pick her out from the hordes of copy-cat girls giggling around her... So, that's no good either.

I guess the sexual thing would have to go. I'd probably need to pick up a guide on Hollywood celebrities to find a target. I'm just not that into celebrities. I'd need one that is old because the younger ones all seem to be in good shape and frankly, I'm not. It's not a good idea to do the sex thing either as it's a sure way for the police to find you. It's the DNA things floating around. I think I read about it in Dick Tracy once.

But I can still use my plastic, TSA-disapproved, knife to saw my victim in two. But first, damn it, I've got to drain all that blood.

I don't know why the blood must be drained, but the murderer of the Black Dahlia did it and they were never found. So, that seems like a good idea to me.

I heard somewhere that the body can function even after losing a lot of blood. I think there is something like eight liters of blood in the body.

Why can't we measure this in good old American units? I mean, why are we jumping to use metric for a body measure? It has to be confusing to be taking personal measurements, such as height, six foot one inch. Weight, 225 pounds. Blood in the body, eight liters. I mean isn't this exactly how NASA screwed up several of its launches, by mixing an American measure with metric?

I was talking to a woman from Australia on the trip to LA and she told me that she lost 20 kilos. I told her that I was glad she didn't put it in stone as I could never figure that measurement out. So, 20 kilos. We're trying to figure out if that is 2.25 k / lbs or is it 2.25 lbs / k?

Thank god I never tried to sell drugs. That's another industry that uses metric and mixes it with American measurement. They talk about kilos of something and then the dollar value. But when you're stoned and stupid and on the street looking for a hit do you really do the computation?

“I've got 2 kilo of wonder drug man.”

“Oh, okay, let's see, 2 k * 2.25 = 4.5” I mean if the drug users of this country can do that type of math then they should be running Wall Street.

What the hell were we talking about? Oh blood. Did you know that Bella Lugosi died in his cape? They should have buried him in it don't you think? Wait, did I get that backwards? Damn you metric system now I'm all confused.

Anyway the body is able to continue to function, according to my research on the History Channel, till it is down to about two LITERS of blood. I figured that waiting for the drain to finish would be a great opportunity, as the villain, to monologue.

Monologues, as described in the superhero flick the Incredibles, is that part of the film or comic book when the villain describes his master plan to the victim. It gives the audience a look at what is at stake if the hero fails. It always occurs at a moment when the hero is in big trouble. They are usually captured and facing some sort of devious plan for their death and torture.

I guess if I was a villain, I wouldn't want to monologue. But, since the victim is slowly dying and I hope that my Boy Scout training has taught me to tie a decent knot, they'd be secure...

So, why not monologue?

This is going to be disappointing, but I think I won't use ropes. First of all, I failed that Boy Scout rope trick thing. Yep, I never got the badge for that skill. Second, those rope burns leave nasty welts on the wrists of the dead. I know, I've heard about it when I pass through a room with CSI on.

A real smart villain would probably watch a lot of CSI because they could probably out think the police that way. I'll bet that if we took CSI off the tube there'd be a lot more solved crimes in this country as the criminals became stupid again and began making mistakes.

Back to the monologue. Why is a monologue so important in action films and comic books? I don't get why the motives of the villain don't come out slowly? Darth Vader didn't say, “hey I'm a bad guy and freedom is going to come to an end under the rule of my emperor and I.”

NO!

He took Princess Leia to Organa and asked her to give him the names of the rebel leadership. When she complied, he destroyed Organa. BOOM! Gone. No stupid monologue, action. Billions dead too.

Now that's a villain. “Comply and I still kill billions.” WOW! And no monologue either.

Can you imagine how it would have occurred if he had been a Silver age villain? Yack, yack, yack till finally the hero struggled free of their wrist manacles or whatever, then they alert all the innocent extras to flee the ship, including and especially the Teamsters as you don't want those guys mad at you when you make a movie, then Vader notices she is gone and flees and THEN the Death Star blows up.

Boring...

As I reflect on this, far from Hollywood, first, I think I'd have problems even with some 80 year old actor. Second, I can't tie a good knot. I'd need to go to the sex store and buy those restraints; don't they have a safety or something? And third, I'm just not that into the celebrity thing. I don't think reading about my murder would be interesting to me.

Anyway, you get the idea. As a potential Hollywood murderer (aren't we all?) I give a big thumbs up to the Dearly Departed Hollywood Tragic Mystery Tour. Please, check you plastic knives before you board the bus.